Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
