Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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