Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
