The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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