it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
