currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
there is glitter all over my balls
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