lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
