no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I understand Curling. That high.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
