obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
