Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
