So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Still dying that you shit outside
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
