Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
