I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
