he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
