she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
