omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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