I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The Olympian is in my bed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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