he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
