OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
