I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
