I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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