The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
