I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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