I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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