Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
