A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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