I love black thongs
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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