this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
worst night to have a conscience
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just invented taco cereal.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
