I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
