the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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