youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
