She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm both gender and math confused
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
