Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
