i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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