Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
