She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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