Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
