woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
