Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
