She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
