Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
