I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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