So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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