We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
