If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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