I hate all girls vehemently.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
