We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
