WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
