You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
