you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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