Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
