is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
