shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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