One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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