That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
