the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
