so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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